Saturday, September 08, 2007

I'm Here Again.

I don't know why people are always looking for the other half of their souls, to be complete again as destined, while some others are just not giving enough care to what they already have and sometimes even throw it away.

We are never satisfied with what we have. Alone, some desperately seek the one who can hopefully make them whole again, others just spend time lamenting about their poor fate and drown themselves in the self-pitying sea. Sadly there are some who have been lucky enough to find their right matches but not savvy enough to keep them. I find myself one of them.

I might be the luckiest person in the world when met my boyfriend and later on the stupidest person ever to have walked away from him in such a childish manner. But up until now, I never regret.

Nor will I ever beg for an apology.

If we were really such a perfect match as I thought we were, I wouldn't have been ignored for such a long time. Things are not the way they were anymore. We didn't "talk". The mysterious connection we had in the first year that worked magic, turning the world into the brightest place exists no more.

Some may take me for a high-maintenance kind of person. They are right. I'm ready to sacrifice anything to keep our love blossom as it should. But to face such defying challenge, I need to be fueled; with kind words, phone calls, hugs, kisses or whatever that shows that I'm still cared for somehow. And without that driving force, I reached the limit and got tired, exhausted...drained.

That was enough. No more justifications. All I have to say is that I'm here again, at the starting point, as I was before 4 years ago; alone, empty and trying to fulfill my soul with my true other half who may or may not exist out there.