How to Kill Talking Spaniards

Gag them, shut their mouth up and in no time, they will finally burst out and die down due to the needs to...TALK.

My experience has proved that, generally speaking, the spaniards tend to be less capable of restraining themselves from the verbal expression.

The closed mouth means a significant blockage of speech and expression of ideas which may cause a stressful state. At least, that is my theory.

Stopping a spaniard from talking can't be more challenging as my experience has proved.

Enjoying the exchange of information and expressing themselves verbally is an essential part of the spanish people's daily life. Unlike most Brits or Asians, Spanish people can't stand the silence. It kills them. In order to survive, they need to talk, talk, talk and talk everywhere, be it at work, in class, metro, buses, theatres, elevators or in queues.

In my Master class, when it came to the arrangement of make-up classes (or whatever), it always took more time than necessary to draw a conclusion. The americans are the most resolute in this situation; they tried to keep the discussion straight to the point, while the Spaniards kept launching their suggestions and ocassional unrelevant comments across the room. As a traditional Asian (plus my low level of Spanish back then), I maintained my oriental silence. This, for example, never happened in my Diploma class where we were all foreigners.

In general public services such as banks or hospitals, the already sluggish administration is undermined by the staff's lack of alertness and energy; their priority being that talk first, serve later.

In Caja Madrid Bank, a lady staff took some time leisurely gossiping with her colleague before bothering herself to serve me (while keeping talking, of course). The same happened at times in Santander Bank. In La Paz Hospital, my japanese friend Takeshi, while giving his personal information to an admin staff, tried to show her a copy of his social security application form in vain. The girl, enjoying the conversation with her colleagues while attending us simultaneously, didn't even take a look at the document and told us that it was useless. o_O?! Takeshi made three attempts before the brain-dead lady realised that it wasn't a medical record but a social security thing (extremely necessary to get a free service).

In metro, there's a big difference between one in Bangkok and in Madrid. Everytime you catch a metro, you'll always come out of it with a sort of stories, even though you never attempt any sort of eavesdropping; what has happened to Juan, who has flirted with Marta in the club, with whom Natalia had sex last night, why the couple on the second floor has broken up, until when Ignacio, Salvador and Maria stayed at the party last night, the son of Mr.Perez is gay, etc. Mostly in Bangkok, talking loudly in metro ranks on the top of the list of bad manners. There's no need for other people to know about your problem, and so it's your duty to keep it private.

The same happens in elevators. It's one of the most awkward situations for the talkative Spaniards. I reckon it must be VERY uncomfortable for them to be trapped in a vertically moving box with such limited space like this. An honour for those who manage to keep their mouth shut without saying a word before the metallic doors slide open. :)

All in all, the Hispanic Iberians are inclined to excessive talking partly because of their frank nature and cultural formation. It's in their joyful daily life and can't be got rid of. Although sometimes it can be quite bothersome and despite some negative consequences, it's a strong uniqueness that forms a part of Spanish charm waiting to be discovered by any incoming foreign guests.

Until next time, enjoy listening!